All sucks!

As you may know I wrote a piece about the first iPad some time ago and find that as with iPhone it is just hilarious to see the same "development cycle" continue. So here we have these Apple fan boys buying the first iPad because everything Apple makes is awesome right? Instantly they get huge amount of critics and since people have a habit of protecting their decisions these followers start to protect Apple. Maybe they bought iPad and it was piece of crap but they will still protect it since it was quite an investment and they are being attacked and they take it personally.

You see it over and over again but what I find most amusing is that after launching their first version of whatever product Apple always seems like it already has a plan to launch version 2 of the same product. Now if those zealots are protecting the first version of iPad with their last breath even though they might feel inside that it isn't actually that awesome product indeed then it might seem almost natural to buy iPad 2 because.... it has all the previous versions problems fixed!!! Hurray!! What a brilliant concept!

You will never see a Apple fanboy saying "Ok ok... the first version did actually suck but the second version is good" but you'll see many of them buy multiple versions of the same product. Sure there is nothing wrong with buying good products that are practical and useful but since when do people buy computers not because they will help you compute but because they are sexy or cool. These are the same people who will join Greenpeace or some other green movement one year to protest against industry polluting environment just because it is fucking cool and trendy. Then next year they'll buy iPod mini, nano, shuffle and also iPod mega-giga forgetting all about their previous ideals. In fact they might even try to prove how environment friendly Apple is with its manufacturing in China and everything :)

Sure some people like to listen to music and it is not like there haven't been devices for doing just that around for quite some time. What is funny is that when any Apple computer-device(yes I did say that, doesn't sound that sexy anymore?) comes out everyone and their dog buys it. They don't really have any need for it. If you ask them about this then they can't even explain why they need one but they are sure that need to buy it. After few months they barely even remember that they own one though or it will just break which is quite common too.

I have never been able to explain it but I do notice a parallel with fashion. Somebody organizes a huge fashion show or constantly pushes some collection or brand on TV and then suddenly everyone has to get it because it is the latest hot shit and even more when it is so fucking expensive that it is nuts. Then it has to be good.. right? Trends require some behavior or object to be perceived as novel. Note that I said perceived not to be actually novel since most Apple stuff hasn't actually been novel at all. Of course it also has to be easily accessible and perhaps this is why Apple stuff is actually perceived as novel. So what we have this far is a company that makes computers that are easy to use and stupid people perceive it as novel since they don't know anything about computers or why they should own one. BUT because it is SEXY they have to get it and because it is EXPENSIVE they have to get it even more since then they can also brag about it. Often enough these are the same people who come to borrow some money from you to buy food since they spent all their money on crap.

What these people don't seem to get is that computers can't be simple. Sure every software company tries to make their product easy to use but what Apple is doing is oversimplification so that even brain dead could use the device. Because Adobe software series runs on iMac it doesn't make iMac some sort of artists tool. Even funnier is fact that Steve Jobs the head of Apple is actually aligned against Adobe because of Adobe Flash. iPad and all these other gadgets might be useful to few people but for 90% of the owners they are just a stupid toy.

It is a nice piece of furniture but when you ask anyone who does any kind of work with computers they prefer something that actually works and doesn't try to do everything in their own way just because they can. If you are 3D animator for example and Apple made software by their ideals that tried to oversimplify everything then you would be like a pianist who used this software to create sheet music. You might get your 15 minutes of fame but that would be about it because of your shallowness. Imagine dentist who only knows how to drill but not anything else??

So now that we have established that computers aren't simple we should also establish that computers aren't sexy, trendy or anything like that. If you think they are then you are just very easily affected by peer pressure and you would buy a $1000 calculator if somebody designed it shiny looking and clueless people told you that it is the greatest shit ever.

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Exkild reviewing iPad 2

One of the easiest ways to understand typical Apple products consumer is to watch this iPad 2 parody video by Exkild. Actually the video is definitely nicely done and suggested to watch by me but after watching it you should check out the comments below this Youtube video. When 1/3 of the people commenting on the video think that a guy with iMac who did some video editing is actually using real Apple product called iPad 2 then you will understand what is wrong with average consumer. They are clueless - they don't know anything and they don't want to know anything. They basically act like a herd and paradoxically at the same time they all like "spotlight".

Word "free" always screws people up it seems. Maybe because some people still think that communism is awesome, well they don't really think like that but all their actions seem to show otherwise. I suspect that they are just stupid. So here you have this guy Juan Mann who tells a heart touching story about how nobody came to hug him in the airport so he decided to make a sign "FREE HUGS" to overcome this problem. He told the story much more dramatically though like it is some sort of fairy tale but in real life so you might not feel your heart being touched like millions of people all over the world did. Question is though... WHY, why do they feel like cute bunny just brainwashed them?

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Chaser's War on Everything own free hugs campaign

I mean, isn't what he did like the most selfish thing ever? "Oh everybody is getting hugged at the airport but nobody hugs me.. ME ME ME MEEEE, I WANT HUGS MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!" So he makes a sign and hugs more people than anyone in the airport did, well good for him! Life is actually mostly about solving problems and finding better ways to solve problems - he seems to be very good at it and lazy nerds usually are so nothing new in here. Most people aren't though and it is surprising how much they get manipulated by emotional tree hugging crap like this. And it works every time too, I mean at one point they should realize that they are just stupid for being manipulated so easily over the Youtube?

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Get deluxe hugs for just $2!

Seriously, what is it with people and the "free" mindset? Hugs are free anyway morons, you don't have to add word free in front of it, it doesn't make you special in any way you retard. It seems that most people find it difficult to accept that some people have more money than they do and they put no effort into thinking why it is so. Like they don't put any effort in anything in their life that is important, at least when it comes to the the selfless acts anyway. So why is this guy doing a prank video where he is offering deluxe hugs for $2 a bad guy? Everyone seems to hate him and this is exactly those people I'm talking about. Funny thing is that this guy is actually fan of free hugs campaign and he just tries to have some fun, people still jump on him and some seem to hate him so much that they would probably punch him in the face if they saw him. Usually the same people who think that government is bad and that Jews take away their money etc. Maybe free hugs campaign doesn't suck at all, maybe it is again the people that suck. Those people on the Youtube who fight for free hugs campaign like they have just found their life calling in giving sweaty hippie hugs so that people would think they are special, which is very selfish act if you think about it really.

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Chaser's War on Everything on how to get free stuff

Most of the people who I have seen preaching heavily about the free hugs campaign, the same people that are violent against all kinds of prank videos made about this hippie bullshit seem to be all hypocrites but I doubt they even know this. You see at one moment they are all about kumbaya and lets hug shit to death! But when new iPad comes out they are going to buy that one instead because hugging stuff is not actual anymore. Of course they have to ask their mommy for the money first. They might still do the whole free hugging thing though in the future if it wins them more attention. They aren't selfless at all in fact they are very very selfish attention-grabbing-and-trendy shit prostitutes. Some of these people get so caught up with that bullshit that they never move out of their parents basement and these are the people you should really be afraid of because they really suck and they suck HARD!

Problem with these guys is that they usually 100% believe that money is evil. What's that? Mommy doesn't give you money to go buy new Call of Duty? You have to do your own laundry because mommy has to go to work? Oh noes! These people have watched so many conspiracy movies usually that if you talk with them long enough you will think that they are crazy. You are wrong though - they are just brainwashed, well maybe slightly retarded selfish assholes who don't wash themselves. School was really shit for them and well dealing with issues is generally very shitty thing to do also, not part of their life at all. At least to extent normal people have to deal with stuff daily. They maybe never knew or quickly forgot what money is really about when they were thought about it. That it is medium of exchange for what you have offered for other people. So if you fix somebodies house it would be nice if they did something in return for you - for example feed you for next 3 years. Since you are not sure what you want at the moment though you will get money, so you get to decide what this house fixing will be awarded with, simple as that.

But people don't like to pay, they want it all for free. They want that people wouldn't be so selfish, why are they so selfish and want to eat and get rewarded for their hard work, "baaaah baa-ah whiiiiiiinneee whine protest!" Sure they say that they can't afford it or that they are poor, think about the poor people damn it! But what being poor really means is basically saying "I don't like to work hard and deal with issues. If I can earn enough money to get by I'll be fine". At the same time they dream about new Xbox or iPad and might even buy this with their credit card and bullshit, make up excuses and whine even more how the whole world is against them and people with money are inherently evil, specially the banks who now want their borrowed money back. How about selling your Xbox sweaty asshole?

So I have an idea how these whining people maybe wouldn't suck so much anymore and would go to work. How about all the media businesses or finance news publishers did few changes to their owned medium. They should start reporting annual revenues with not dollars or euros but by creating value. Even better, they should compare it to something. This could be awesome PR campaign for US banks that are under fire right now. They could report for example that Goldman Sachs made it possible for 5 million people who wanted to achieve their dreams to do so. Sadly lot of people who in their head lived up in the sky and financially from hand to mouth failed to factor in that their job isn't really that valuable for the world. If they lost they job they couldn't easily replace it and could potentially loose their income for months. This didn't stop 2 million of people from still taking that loan to buy a house though and this also doesn't stop them from blaming banks because banks didn't give them FREE financial advice. Also they didn't change their diapers.

I think that if they reported news this way we would have a much better life in this world and it wouldn't suck this bad. But since lazy selfish people suck so hard I'm sure they would still think something new even if things were that much better way. But at least they have free hugs that they can give to people that makes them feel much better. Also they are still showing Avatar in the theater, so this might be something to consider. It is not for free though and it seems that hippies can't do what they usually do either with this movie either - pirate it from the internet for FREE. So you just have to ask mom for some money, hope you are ready to do some laundry(for free)!

Anyway enough about free and retarded people following such campaigns. If you really want to do something that matters then maybe be like Bill Gates and build something better than a system to operate a computer like he did. I mean after all he is the real hero when it comes to giving to the world, although not many people don't seem like like him because he is so rich. But when you think in the ways I described money - that it is medium of exchange then you can see that he has actually done enormous amount of good for this world. It is a fact that people are paying him for this great product in exchange with their own hard work(not the hippies though, they are downloading it from the internetz again!). Bill Gates seems like a guy you would want to compare to a dollar or at least put him next to one and yet he has done so much good to the world with The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and probably through countless of donations he has done in his lifetime. Many countries don't produce even that as much value in total that Bill Gates is giving away each year.

But good luck to people saving the world with free hugs campaign, I'm sure people with AIDS will appreciate all your effort to make their lives better!

Many people have seen this video from the dark ages where two women are talking about tampons and how much better iPad is. Now it turns out that Apple finally brought one into their stores! This iz the greatezt inventzion of mankind!!

If you have not realized already then this web site is called All Sucks and I'm not being serious. Yup.. here I said it! It seems that some people visiting this web site still have a problem understanding this. Now check out this sketch by MadTV:

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So lets talk about iPad "The Greatezt invetzion of mankind!" Turns out this device is not actually made for women who have periods. It is not so called iTampon that was Twitter's top 10 trending topic by the way. It is actually a "netbook killer" according to Steve Jobs and also umm.. piece of garbage apparently! You can already see Apple fanboys raving everywhere how great it is even though they haven't even heard about the good part - its features. Seriously.. Apple fanboys suck, they suck harder than this stupid device! There is no doubt that if this device really was going to be a replacement for tampon these fanboys would be probably lined up to buy these for their girlfriend. Because spending lot of money on stupid worthless shit is a sure way to show that you are cool since middle ages.

This device that is supposed to be a netbook killer comes with really interesting features:

1. It doesn't do anything you want

Yes there are no more points. I could list all kinds of problems with it like being only limited to software in App Store(free software disappears, good stuff is paid, there is censoring etc) or being locked down to only one network or to memory cards that nobody uses. If you are still not convinced since you are such a Apple fanboy then you might also want to know that you can't watch your faggy friends fanboy videos about how cool they are with their new iPad aka iTampon because it doesn't play flash! Yes, no Youtube for you or any of those other trendy web bling-blings you faggots send to each other. So besides being limited to a shitty network you also are limited to.. umm watching photos and reading with it? Oh right this device can't also multitask, so you can't listen to music and watch photos of cute bunnies with it at the same time for example. This surely can't be hip for all the trendy people of today.. ugh.. reading, seriously?! Didn't Amazon already do something like this anyway with Kindle but didn't actually name their product electronic maxipad?

Oh and about that - Although Jobs apparently said that iPad is supposed to compete with notebooks you can pretty quickly tell that this isn't so. Smarter Apple fanboys are trying to protect this garbage by saying that it is supposed to be for reading books and stuff. So... why do I need this again? For what it costs I could get a Kindle and a netbook. Even though Jobs doesn't want to mention that this device was supposed to be competition for Kindle then this is actually what it really is. He saw a great product and copied it for his fanboys and some of these bright guys even call this iTampon original, brilliant!

Apple product development strategy

But lets try to put all the limitations and other issues why it sucks aside with this abomination for a second. Lets try to see practical reasons for having one but exclude stuff that Kindle already does. Hm wait.. there are none!? Unless you count showing it to your friends and playing around with it for a month max(ipad)imum. Sure Apple stuff is very expensive, everyone knows this, but this has to be the funniest product ever in that sense. I can already see the next step by Apple: "It is iPaper, you can write on it!" Of course for such an amazing invention you will need to shell out at least $500 and $100 extra for amazing iPencile with real iGraphite core!

If you still decide to buy iPad you totally deserve a medal for being little retarded. Yes, you might as well write moron on your forehead. Do you remember this old photo where some idiot was comparing iPhone to a rock? Well it seems that it is time for another comparison:

PS From another perspective if you would like a Kindle that can play videos and computer games you may find it pretty cool. I would still wait until the price drops since right now it is definitely not worth it(The price just sucks so hard!).

So there is going to be State of the Union address 2010 tomorrow by Barack Obama. Hopey changey almost made me laugh my brains out when I saw him saying "We want our money back" on the TV. What.. is he getting tips from Cuba now? I'm pretty confident that he has prepared well for this address but it will be still fun to watch. At the same time it is really sad because he has been under lot of pressure lately because of his wrong decisions and even worse ideas.

This is sad because all the people brainwashed by hopey changey seem to be activated again and pull out the racist card at everyone who speaks out against him. I have never seen anything like this. There are people on public forum saying that they don't like Obama and then some poor black person takes it personally and threats to beat "haters" up. At the same time it seems to be quite trendy to publicly make fun of jews lately.

Anyway more about the State of the Union address. I really hope that more people will realize that Obama really sucks and there isn't going to be any change until people take responsibility for their own lives. This video should give you a pretty good idea what I mean by that. We need such people to get more educated or just grow up mentally. I'm sure that in his address he is going to talk about how banks and what not are behind peoples misfortune while people should just really look in the mirror.

Problem is that lots of people like to hear somebody whispering to their ear that they are going to be fine and say that their problems were caused by external factor but seriously.... SERIOUSLY, did banks force people to take loans? How can a banks force people to take loans. People never fail to amaze me with saying that banks were lending too much and this is the reason why average Joe is poor. If you are struggling with money then who asked you to spend it all, why not have reserves like normal people? Of course people always find excuses and they will probably say they didn't get paid enough to do that and what not. Point is they will always find excuses like Obama.

So in essence State of the Union speech 2010 is not going to be anything else than another great emotional story from fairy tales book. Exactly what emotional and stupid people want to hear while they would be much better off studying new skills or applying for a job frantically. I find it amusing that he is going to cut spending which makes it look like he is responsible to some idiots and at the same time "economic stimulus" package is not going to be touched with that cut?! Economic stimulus money should be really renamed to propaganda budget because this is really what it is.

Basically there are systems and businesses in US that are not working or business volume has fallen in some areas. So what this guy is doing is taking huge amounts of money, calls it stimulus package and then replaces roads, pipes and fixes government buildings with it. Gives money to states that fund projects.. let's say schools for example that don't have enough students but since we can't lay off people this money is being used to pay people who create no value.

Meanwhile Obama increases taxes to fund this madness taking money out of taxpayers pockets. Of course he elegantly calls it banking tax so it might seem like average Joe doesn't suffer. But I would like to see average Joe getting his desperately needed loans again so easily after this. Point is - nobody really knows how to stimulate economy but everyone agrees that government spending on stupid shit is definitely very wrong way to approach this. Actually to summarize this - it is very wrong for Obama to work at it while this is a job for Federal Reserve. Since he is dealing with this it shows even more that he is just a political prostitute.

You will definitely see a lot of this prostitution tomorrow when he is going to do the State of the Union address of 2010. It will be interesting to watch and perhaps for even some laughs. What I really hope though is that more people will step out of their protective being and admit that Obama really sucks, he is just another of those make-me-feel-good persons who doesn't actually deliver anything permanent.

It is funny to see people who voted him still trying to protect him. When it would have been any other president then everyone would be saying what they really mean but instead of that we have people who still think Barack Obama is a superhero or something. If people would be honest then they would just say that Obama sucks but they can't. They can't because their bond with this wet dream is so strong that when they admit that he really does suck there would be strong feeling of personal failure.

Problem is that people like dreaming and not thinking how to solve their problems. They would like if somebody else solved their problems and Obama was promising just that. Sadly stupid people believe anything that could potentially make their emotional being easier. It doesn't matter if it really doesn't make a difference. It is much easier to sit behind the TV all day and watch stupid shit than to deal with issues.

And guess what? Obama knows that! He knows that most of the people are struggling with life because life is hard, specially when you have to do stuff like go to work. His timing was perfect - just when people started to realize that they have made some wrong decisions they got this entertainer telling them that it is not their fault. He stepped up on the soap box and started saying exactly these things what most stupid people and sadly even some a bit smarter people would like to hear. Everyone likes to blame other people so obviously he gave people some targets.

So obviously the first targets were the rich and the powerful and this worked very well for average Joe. Problem with blaming others and spitting out random words to make people feel good as an US president though is that you can only do it so long. It has been now over a year when he was elected and as we can all see he is just another president and actually even worse. He has been attacking and continues to attack businesses and banks which is very typical thing a socialist would do. In a situation where we have a recession and people are suffering he keeps making statements that bring market down.

His voters are still backing him but they are not so full of joy anymore, specially people who thought he is going to pay their mortgage and bills. Right now it seems that economy is pretty quickly getting better but since there might be something called banking tax very soon and probably bunch of other surprises that reap Obama more and more votes for upcoming election he might very well damage United States long standing first economic position in the world.

If he keeps this bullshit up lot of Americans will find themselves working for EU companies and maybe even Chinese companies. All this because people refuse to work hard and take responsibility for their own mistakes. If people would stop taking the easy way out by blaming others for their misfortune and hope that god and Obama just gives them everything just like that then there would have not been any recession.

Obama sucks because he is this person who sits on your shoulder and fuels your idiotic and lazy thoughts so that you could get instant gratification, long term suffering and then he gets paid for this too. I have an idea - why don't you guys vote some self-help author as a president next! It would be awesome idea, every week you could see some powerful pitch from TV that will make you feel good inside but doesn't really solve any of your problems.. but it doesn't matter because solving problems is hard anyway, who wants that?!?!

Obama sucks because he united all the people who like excuses and even when he fails they most likely have an excuse for that too. One thing is sure though - they will never admit that he is a shitty president that sucks so hard.

Including this web site and you people visiting this half-assed site! Bugger off and don't ever come back here you piece of s*it!

PS On a side note this is first welcome post on this web site that it going to be about how everything sucks as you might have guessed already. Enjoy(or don't)!